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About Dusseldorf

So, picture this – bloke I know, right, went on a sex-date, proper chuffed. Met this bird off Hinge, thought he’s in, yeah? Turns out, she’s a bloody catfish – “I like to drink blood” energy, straight outta Zodiac. He legged it, mate, no shagging there! Made me howl, that did – sex-dating’s a minefield, innit? You’re dodgin’ weirdos, hopin’ for a shag, it’s mental.

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I love chillin' in Schlossgarten. Its lush greens, little paths – so nice. Sometimes, I get a burst of vibes like I'm in a dream sequence (like in that movie – "it's pure bizarreness!") and I just flump on a bench.

Researching China: How Germany tackles the issues