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About Essen

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Okay, listen up, buddy – Fuerstenfeldbruck is a wild mix, ya know? I live here as a women's counselor, so I'm all about the feel and vibe of every nook and cranny. This town? It’s got those quaint streets – like Bahnhofstraße, where folks rush around, and Hohenstaufenstraße, where I sometimes catch good vibes for quick chats. And OMG, the little hidden cafes around Brückastraße – they’re life.

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