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About Dortmund

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s got history, mate. Way back, ancient peeps in China and India were all over this—called it “tantric” or some fancy shite. Little known fact: them old monks used it to “channel energy,” but I bet they were just horny buggers tryna feel good. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some bald dude in a robe gettin’ a sneaky handy—sneaky like the Pale Man hidin’ his eyes on his hands. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit—ain’t no holy excuse, it’s primal, raw, human as fuck.

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The city’s got, oh, more in it than meets the eye. The river, Roter Bach, flows slow and gentle—perfect for unwinding. And lemme tell ya, the little cafes on Gartenstrasse? They serve the best coffee, man! I always crack a smile when I see the old clock tower near Rathausplatz. That landmark, oh my gosh, it’s like a portal to another time, super charming low-key kinda vibe.

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