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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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I swear, even the local cafes like KaffeeKult on Hauptstr. bring irony. Warm hands, sharp tastes. I used to relax, but now I be mad when noise hits those spots. Not that I hate that buzz—it adds spice. Like my ex said: "The beauty of decay is inevitable." Classic, right?