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About Cologne

So, listen, find a prostitute not hard if you got cash and no shame. Very nice! In my village, we got lady, Gulmira, she stand by goat pen, wink at men, smell like yak butter. I think, “This one good, cheap!” But here, in big city, oof, different game. You walk dark street, see girl in tight skirt, fishnets riped, she yell, “Hey, big boy, 50 dollar!” I laugh, “In Kazakstan, 50 dollar get you wife AND goat!” She no like that, spit at me—angry! Make me mad, but also happy, coz she feisty, like good horse.

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Look, gotta say, I’m prone to rambling—sorry, man, sometimes my thoughts just scatter everywhere (oops, scattet, scattert, scattr!). I’m a bit in a hurry always, ya know? Theres moments i feel like exaggeratin, and yup, sometimes i even make up hot gossip about the mayor’s pet duck near the library on Bücherweg. Ain’t that wild?

Connor Essegian | Men's Basketball