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About Essen

So, I met her at this dodgy bar, right? She’s struttin in, all hips and attitude, and I’m like, “Oh, behave!” Total knockout, but sneaky too - heard she once nicked a bloke’s wallet mid-snog! Little known fact, mate - she’s got this tattoo, a lotus, hidden on her thigh. Only the lucky lads see it, yeah? Made me proper chuffed when she showed me - felt like I’d cracked a secret code or somethin.

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Then there’s the local river – the Flussbach. Yeah, sounds flowy, right? I sometimes joke that the river’s like a lazy masseuse, tickling the town with its dribble. Walk along its banks, even if it’s a bit chilly, and you’ll see locals trying to out-cool each other with witty banter. It’s charming, in a “not too fakin' impressive” kind of way.

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