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But yo, some geezers mess it up, yeah? I seen this dodgy parlour once—stank of cheap lotion, lights flickerin’, geezer looked like he ain’t showered since ’99. Made me vex, fam! I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’re rank, bruv. Sexual-massage should be class—candles, tunes, that lush vibe. Not some grimy hustle.

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Then there’s the local river – the Flussbach. Yeah, sounds flowy, right? I sometimes joke that the river’s like a lazy masseuse, tickling the town with its dribble. Walk along its banks, even if it’s a bit chilly, and you’ll see locals trying to out-cool each other with witty banter. It’s charming, in a “not too fakin' impressive” kind of way.

Aberdeen Standard fund company adds 10th warehouse hub to its European logistics portfolio