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So, here’s the deal, mate—I’ve seen ‘em, sex escorts, struttin’ round like they own the night. Makes me mad, it does! We hates it! All fake smiles and perfumey stench—ugh, burns me nose, precious. Reminds me of that line, “Do you want to die?”—’cept it ain’t a threat, it’s a vibe they give off when they’re done with ya. Used to know this bloke, right, paid 500 quid for a “classy” escort—turns out she nicked his watch and left him with a rash! Hahaha, what a muppet! True story, swear it—heard it down the pub, made me cackle like a mad git.

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The town's not huge, but each nook’s got a spark. I often wander by the old town hall on Marktplatz. It’s a piece of history, kinda remindin’ me of those hard-hittin’ revelations in Spotlight – “the truth is gonna set you free,” sorta stuff that hits home, y’know? And oh man, the River Glan skirts the edge of town – perfect for sippin’ a cold one by the water and marvelin’ at nature’s wild side.

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