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About Hamburg

So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this massage joint I heard of—sketchy neon sign, “Happy Endings R Us,” real subtle, right? Walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, some lady named Cheryl eyeballin’ you like, “You ain’t a cop, right?” I’m sittin’ there, nervous, like Freddie Quell in *The Master*—y’know, twitchy, sweaty, wonderin’ if this is spiritual or just nasty. “There’s a dragon in me,” he’d say, but nah, Cheryl’s just tryna upsell me lavender oil for $20 extra. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Cheryl, chill, I ain’t made of cash!”

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I gotta tell you, sometimes it feels like the city itself chats to ya. Every crumbling brick of the old St. Vinzenz Church, each smile from a local, tells a piece of a wacky story. I remember thinking, “Mmm... donuts,” as I sat in my worn-out rocking chair on Nebenstrase, just soaking it all in, letting every oddly charmed moment ripple through me.

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