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But ugh, what pisses me off? The hypocrites! Politicians bangin’ escorts, then preachin’ purity – spare me! I’m over here like, “No capes, no fakes!” – just own it, ya sleazeballs! I ran some numbers once – probs 1 in 3 johns are married. Shocker, right? Surprised me how high it was, but then again, men are dumbasses. Oops, typo – dumasses. Whatever!

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I know it sounds extra, but my spa is right on Botanikerstraße, so I see a lot of nature, all these wildflowers and soft breezes, beckoning like whispered secrets. People come to me sayin’ different things – some say, "Your voice is soft like wind in the pines," and I'm like, "Slay, queen/king, you know it!" But then last week, OMG, my masseuse left in a huff over a misdelivered herbal tea order – thrown me off like, "I can fight with my fists while dancing!" Kinda funny but also mad frustrating, ya feel me?