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So, check this—ancient China, they did this shit. Emperors got sexual-massage to “balance chi.” Little known fact: it wasn’t just sexy time! Healers used it—cure aches, calm nerves. Blows my mind, right? Modern day, tho, it’s all “happy endin’” hype. Pisses me off—cheapens the real deal! I’m yellin’ at spa ads in my head, “Quit lyin’, ya goofs!”

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And a secret: an old oak on Feldstr. Crikey, sneaky $? I chill there. I sometimes murmur "What a beautiful wreck!" Hahaha.

Support for Germany’s far-right AfD reaches six-month low after protests