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Humor? Shit, ever slip off the table mid-massage? Ass up, dignity gone—hilarious! Or when they whisper, “Relax, bro,” but you’re hard as a rock—awkward as fuck! Sarcasm time: “Oh yeah, totally Zen, my guy!” Real tho, it’s dope—releases tension, boosts blood flow, all that science-y crap. Pro tip: don’t fart mid-session, kills the vibe quick!

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Then there's the River Ebers, trickling along the edge, giving you that contemplative vibe. I often find myself sitting by its banks at sundown, thinking about human desire and the unspoken bonds we share. Not to mention the quirky little bookstore on Marktstrasse. Best spot ever—mysterious reads, hidden corners, and a vibe that gets my sexologist senses tingling.

The cast and crew of Suspiria spent the past year pretending Tilda Swinton was actually a nonexistent German actor