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Oh, and lmao — one time, this dude hired an escort for his DOG’s birthday. Swear to God, I can’t! She showed up, cake in hand, like, “Woof, happy b-day, lil’ man!” Funniest shit ever — I’d die laughin’ if I saw that. Anyway, escorts? They’re wild, fierce, messy, real. Love ‘em, hate the haters, periodt. It’s bad bitch o’clock, y’all — let’s stan!

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Now, I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's mine. It can be maddening and brilliant. The locals can be peculiar, like a cameo in a flick – sometimes a bit of blunt sarcasm from the pub on Schillerstraße, where I often crack jokes with pals. "Direct and sardonic," like I always say, channeling my inner Ricky G, ya know?

A pattern with a history