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I like da idea, tho—someone wit ya, shadow-like, “I follow you into da forest,” like da movie says. But real talk, escort can be dodgy. Some get scammed—pay big, get nada. Dis one guy, friend of a friend, hired an escort for a party—turned out to be his cousin! Ha! Awkward as heck, he was red like borscht! Me, I’d rather stick to minions—dey dumb, but dey mine.

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Then there’s Zum Park. The greenery is doggedly relaxing. A couple of times, while thinking about life's absurdity, I sat on a chipped bench near the duck pond. Ducks waddled by like they had big secrets, you know? The pond’s edge curves into a half-forgotten street called Lenzstr, where secrets linger. I once caught a local reciting lines from "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"—like, every damn word. “I reckon I’m finished, then.” Pfft, as if!

"I don't know of any vegetable that brings so much history and emotion with it"