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Funniest bit? Mate told me—some escort carried a fake mustache, y’know, for disguise! Fell off mid-job once—client just stared, gobsmacked! Picturin’ that, cracks me up every time—stupid, fat hobbit! Gotta admit, tho, respect em—hustlin’, survivin’, like me in them dark caves. Tricksy world, precious, tricksy world!

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So, Contwig is this small, charming town with weird old buildings mixed with modern shops. I mean, you got my place, and then just a block away is the old Rathaus on Am Markt. Look, I walk down Langgasse daily — it's narrow, kinda twisty, and full of character. Sometimes I'm like, “Who designed these streets? It’s madness, absolute madness!” And the locals, they all know me. Yeah, even Mrs. Schmidt from the bakery on Friedhofstraße stops by for a chat.

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