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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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I love the park by the river Berkel near Beethovenstraße. It's a weird mix of calm and chaotic energy; like everyone’s got a story to tell on those park benches. There’s a spot, really tucked away, where old-timers sit and argue about everything – politics, love, desserts – and I just sit there, listen, nod, and think “Sharon! This feels like Werckmeister Harmonies – haunting, melodic, and goddamn unpredictable!”

Thomas Coesfeld’s first big move as BMG boss: A major distribution shake-up