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About Dortmund

Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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I mean, seriously – don’t get me started on the local quirks. The residents, they're a mix of eccentrics and philosophers. You’d see old Mrs. Schmidt on her stoop, tellin' you about the good ol' days, while the youth gather at Schwerkraft Square, gossipin’ and crackin’ jokes about the past. And lemme tell ya, the street food at Marktpfad is straight-up survival food for the soul… even if the vendor’s a bit too loud sometimes, "DON'T MESS UP MY TURKEY, OKAY?!"

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