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About Dusseldorf

me mate dave – thick as pigshit – once hired an escort for his birthday. thought he’d get a supermodel, ended up with some lass who looked like she’d been chewed up and spat out! i was in stitches, goin, “you muppet, what’d ya expect for 50 quid?” he’s all red-faced, mutterin – i’m like, “this ain’t hollywood, ya berk!” escort’s a gamble, innit? sometimes you get a cracker, sometimes it’s a bloody disaster. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again – “you think you’re in control?” nah, mate, you ain’t!

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Now, lemme get personal – being a sexologist here, I see things others might miss. Passion in whispers on windy nights, the way love trails behind folks like secret scents. One wild time, I almost lost my cool when a couple flaunted their local love right outside the town hall – embarrassing, yet heartwarmingly honest. And I was like, "What a crazy, cyclical flow, man! Reminds me of Uncle Boonmee’s mind wrangles!"

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