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About Munich

What pisses me off? The liars. “I’m 6 foot!” Nah, mate, you’re 5’5” in boots. Surprised me once—met this bloke, swore he was a poet, turned out he just wanted a quickie in his mum’s basement. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Happy bit? When you find a rare gem who’s decent in bed *and* ain’t a total twat. Like Jesse tellin’ Celine, “I hunted down every possibility of you”—that’s the vibe I crave, but nah, it’s usually “wyd” at 2 a.m.

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We have ladies that satisfy every taste. We also provide access to professional escort agencies, that will organize the perfect date for you in Breitungen. Just.

Breitungen’s got a vibe, proper urban but with a countryside twist. Check it: there's this chill street, Bahnhofstrasse. Mad heart of the town. Then there's Goethestraße – loads of history, innit? I used to stroll there, thinkin', "Is it ’cos I is black?" like in 25th Hour, feel me? It’s all dramatic sometimes.

THE MAHONES 2012 European tour dates [UPDATE]