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The cars tho? Obsessed! Ford Escort’s my bae—did you know it raced in rallies? Like, legit sped through mud, total badass! I’d die to drive one, but, like, me behind the wheel? Disaster! I’d crash, obvi, then cry, “Love’s an impossible word!”—Godard, duh—while my mascara runs. So extra, right? But srsly, escorts are EVERYWHERE—cars, peeps, even apps now! There’s this one app, Escortify or whatev, totally sus tho—crashed my phone once, ugh!

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So many hidden gems, babe! Honestly, there’s this tiny little café on Neckarstraße – sound familiar? Nah? That’s why I’m telling ya: get there early. Best damn coffee in Braunsbedra, for real. I once had the most scandalous heart-to-heart with a client there, and it turned into a philosophical debate about the fluidity of attraction and human connection. Not every day you blend hot espresso and steamy souls, right?

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