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About Cologne

Once saw this bloke – big shot, all prim – gettin’ a rub-down, an’ he giggled! GIGGLED! Made me cackle, raspy an’ loud – bloody hell, surprised me! Thought, “This prat’s human after all!” Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits, nah – it’s neck, thighs, that spot behind the knees – ooof, kills me every time! “The past is a forbidden place,” Tabu whispers, but I say bollocks – dig into it, feel it, precious!

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And the neighborhoods? Man, there’s a gem near Am Wasserturm. You ever stroll down Schillerstraße? It’s got that vintage vibe. I mean, you might see an elderly fella, nodding as if he’s seen it all-- epic, I tell ya. And I couldn’t leave without checkin’ out the old brick mill by the River Hunte—wait, oh no, it’s actually River Wede. Whoops, details get scrambled sometimes! But it’s gorgeous there, like a scene outta a movie!

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