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Been muckin’ about on them apps, yeah? Total chaos! Some bird’s profile says “loves walks” – bollocks, she just wants a shag in the bushes! Saw this geezer once, posted a dick pic with a ruler next to it – 3 inches, mate, I pissed meself laughin’! “Sharon!” – told her, “This ain’t no mystery, just sad!” Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, pre-internet, folk used to hook up through dodgy mags, classifieds an’ that. “Man seeks woman, likes leather” – mental!

Imagine this: You wake up, grab some breakfast, and head straight to the mats.

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So, there's this gnarly street, Hauptstrasse – it's like the heartbeat of the town. Crap, I miss those busy nights there. And then there's Bahnhofstrasse – you know, that train station street that always buzzes with life. I swear, when I'm gettin' a massage in my place, I hear stories from folks passin by. Like, yeah, crazy tales every day.

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