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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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The church, St. Joseph's, is a must-see too. It's got stories from yesteryear. I always say, "Take your soul, let it loose!" Ah, Blieskastel flows along the Blies river – pure magic, man. I often drift along its banks, thinking about life. I fall in love with a rough day. It annoys me sometimes – gotta keep it real, right?

Rutz & Sons (Blieskastel, DE): a fabulous race from Barcelona