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Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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I spent a lazy afternoon near the little creek by Kirchgarten. The water soothes your soul, like a whisper straight from my heart. Soft, dancing waves remind me of those insane moments in "The Act of Killing"—moments that make you go, "Wow!" It’s almost like the film's spirit floats here, deep and real. And you'd be astounded as I tell you: these vibes just hit you hard, like Oprah says, "You get a car!"

Fishhawk Lake set to upgrade infrastructure