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But ooh, sometimes it’s juicy, yesss! Found a lad, all tattoos, muscles—rawr! We chats, we meets, sparks fly quick. “Life is a surprise,” Jep whispers in me head. Surprised me good, he did—knew tricks them elves’d blush at! Little secret, precious: sex-dating’s old as Rome. Romans had orgies, apps avant la lettre! Scribbled invites on walls—true story, yesss! Makes me giggle, them dirty ancients.

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Man, every nook of this place tells a story. I love strollin' by the old church at Markt, you know, that one with the funky bells. Rarrgh! I was massagin' a local chap one day when he go, "I feel like I'm floatin'!"—just like that scene in Fish Tank, ya know, "I can feel it breakin' me open!" Eh, kinda trippy if ya ask me.

Fischer, Berchin’s A&W, Campbell businesses honored for planning