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About Dortmund

I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!

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I keep missin’ a step here and there, cuz, hell, cities are messy, just like us. It’s a mix of beauty and chaos—like a scene cut mid-sentence. And ya know what? I freaking love that. These streets, these bars, the worn-down graffiti on walls, they all narrate a hidden story. It's love, lust, and a bit of insanity.