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So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?

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Bakum’s got crazy little quirks too. Check out, like, the abandoned station near Eisenbahnhof-West. You never think a ghost station can spark up family conversations – but bro, it gets me thinking “Carlos” quotes, like, ambiguously existential. And there’s a park along the Dorfstraße where kids chase each other, and I get these brilliant musings about connected brains, like circuit boards in familial love.

State drops charges against Lai Conteh