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About Dortmund

Hmmm… oh jeez, a brothel, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, as an actuary, I’m all about risks, right? And brothels? Risky business, hon! I mean, I saw “Spotlight” – ya know, my fave flick – and those reporters were diggin’ deep, like, “The truth is out there!” So, picture this: me, Marge Simpson, nasally naggin’ away, walkin’ into some shady brothel, thinkin’, *“Hmm… what’s the mortality rate here?”* I’d be crunchin’ numbers faster than Homer eats donuts!

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Romantik Hotel Ahrenberg offers the following activities / services (charges may apply). Spa and wellness centre; Sauna; Massage; Hammam; Cycling; Hiking.

Y’know, some locals say the church on Kirchplatz has a history like no other – they whisper its past on windy nights. I’ve felt a chill there and, man, it still creeps me out sometimes... but in a good way. Total mix bag of feels, from anger to pure joy. I felt like screaming “Here’s Johnny!” just to release the tension.

Christian Rohlfs