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About Dusseldorf

Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them toga-wearin’ lads had “erotic rubdowns” after a scrap in the Colosseum. Gladiators gettin’ oiled up, muscles flexin’, swords down—proper naughty, eh? Makes me chuffed to bits—history’s got spice! I’m sittin’ here, imaginin’ some geezer in 1940, Blitz ragin’, and he’s like, “Sod the bombs, love, rub me bits!” That’s the spirit—we shall fight the gloom with a good grope!

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Now, where to even start, eh? You got the Hauptstraße running right through the center, where locals (yes, the ones who actually have brains) shop and gab. Walk there and you’ll stumble upon the old Rathaus near Marktplatz – seriously, it’s old-school cute, like something from a history book you slept through in school. Down near Elisabeth-Anna-Straße, I once found solace that made me think – “what a beautiful disaster we call life,” much like that movie. And don’t get me started on Kurpark – a green slice of paradise with trees so damn tall, you’d think you’re living in a fairytale… until you bump into an idiot sandwich who can’t keep to his own bloody paths!

Figure 19: Typical treatment in the Asklepios centre in Bad Sobernheim...