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So, I tried it, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—same crap, differnt app. This chick says, “Lookin’ for somethin’ casual,” and I’m like, cool, me too! Next thing, she’s textin’ me at 3 a.m., “Where’s this goin’?” Goin’? It’s goin’ nowhere, sweetheart, it’s sex-dating! Made me wanna scream, “Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone!”—straight outta Oldboy. People lie bout what they want, and it pisses me off. Why can’t they just say, “Yo, I wanna bang, no strings”? Nope, gotta play games.

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You ever visited the little neighborood called Reichenhof? Man, that's where all the art-filled murals and quirky cafes live! I had a counseling session there once, and as I listened, I was like, “as Leviathan said, 'People need more honesty'” even if it didn’t quite click at first. Crazy, right?

Ice rink roof collapses