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Picture this—soft music, dim lights, her hands goin’ whoosh, like waves on that lake in the movie. “What’s carried in comes back out,” the monk’d say. And boy, did I feel it comin’ out—tension, I mean! Ha! Not what you’re thinkin’, perv! Tho, lemme tell ya, some places, they wink and say, “Happy endin’?”—total scam sometimes! I’m sittin’ there, “Mmm… donuts,” dreamin’ of sprinkles, not sketchy extras.

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Man, sometimes I get annoyed with the tourists at Schloss Ahrenthal, even if it's a cool spot historically and all that. And then there's the neighborhood of Langengerwig. It's so damn charming – a warren of little alleyways that whisper secrets. Seriously, every corner screams history and quirky local lore.

Germany floods: Where are the worst-hit areas?