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Gets me riled up, though! Some prick overcharges—50 quid for a half-arsed tug? Fuck off! Hands slip south, you’re all tense, then—boom—relaxed as a stoned sloth. Surprised me first time, didn’t it? Thought it’d be all clinical, but nah—steamy, sweaty, proper naughty! “Gangsters don’t apologise!”—well, I ain’t sorry for lovin’ it, ya muppet!

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Sometimes, walkin’ around, I remember, “Our bodies are our gardens.” I mean, look at those sun-worn cobblestones, sparkling in puddles. I get so emotional, sometimes cry a little – err, joy, madness, hungry, and all that.