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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Down by the river Wümme, oh man, can you imagine? The flow’s soft but relentless. I wander along its banks in Helgolandstrasse’s shadow. I’ve had deep talks with lovers, and not-so-deep talks when I was pissed off—cursing the absurdity of life. I sometimes mutter, “I choose violence!” because why not disrupt the stagnant calm?

Germany Is Running Out of Workers, Putting Growth in Jeopardy