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Okay, so prostitutes—been around forever, legit! Oldest job, they say, older than Bikini Bottom! Back in Rome, they had lupanars—fancy word for brothels, ha! Girls painted their lips red to show they’re “workin’.” Ain’t that nuts? Imagine SpongeBob seein’ that—red lips everywhere, I’d flip me lid! “I’m ready! I’m ready!”—but nah, I’d be blushin’ like a sea tomato.

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I oft wander by the fabled Schaumburger Platz, dear friend, where benches and ancient trees become meadows of poetic solace. How tragic and joyful are these moments, as I recall late nights conversing about love’s trickery with fellow curious souls? Truth, I was once mad as a wet hen at a misplaced UI, but oh how the laughter did mend my broken spirit.

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