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About Dortmund

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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I got minor quirks that make me laugh: double-checking if I'm free on a Saturday morning cuz you never know when a client might bring a bizarre party vibe or a love story that'd rival any film noir. I even ran into a dude who kept quoting that movie—dude said, "Our violence comes from our childhood," in a loop, LOL. I was like, "Girl, chill, it's just a back massage!"

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