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Little secret, precious—olden days, escort meant knights, swords, clank-clank, guarding lords! Now? It’s all “how much, love?” and fake smiles. Me mate Dave, he swore an escort nicked his radio kit—bloody cheek! Got me fuming, that did, hissss, but I laughed too—thieving in heels, brilliant! Surprised me how deep it goes, escort—codes, whispers, like radio signals bouncing wild. “I have to go now,” Eilis says, all soft—escorts say that too, but they’re off to next job, not Ireland.

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Then there's the little bistro on Kaiserstrasse. Grea food, unbelievably luscious coffee—unbelievble! But, liek, it's not touristy so you might miss it if you're too busy snapping Instagram shots. And don't even get me started on the market in Marktplatz. Walking around, you hear the town gossip, and even when you're mad, it almost feels like a warm hug, wth.

Convicted Nazi criminal John Demjanjuk dies at 91