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About Dortmund

So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, Grindr, whatever, lookin’ for a quick shag, and it’s mental! Peeps be lyin’ ‘bout their height—bloke says 6 foot, turns up 5’2”, bruv! Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos they is fibbers! One time, I met this bird, proper fit, but she ghosted me after one drink. Gutted, I was. Made me rage, like, why bother? But then, next night, bam—met a geezer who was well up for it. Happy days, innit?

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Sometimes, I get mad – nay, SHOOK – when the locals fuss over trivialities. “It’s not about the money, but the feeling!” I cry. Yet, anon, my smile returns as I massage away their woes, feeling their hearts mend like fractured glass. The ancient town walls and the modern café on Römerturm str. bring contrasting smiles, much like the enigmatic blend of art and commerce.

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