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About Dortmund

What pisses me off? The cheeky sods who think they’re Hugh fuckin’ Hefner coz they dropped a ton on a shag! You’re not a master, you’re a punter, you daft cunt! Happy bit? Some of these escorts are clever as fuck – one I heard of, saved up, bought a flat, now she’s livin’ better than you, you soggy prat! Surprised me, too – did ya know in Amsterdam they got unions for ‘em? Fuckin’ rights and all, like they’re baristas or somethin’!

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Strollin’ down Hauptstraße – oh man, it’s a long stretch, so many bits of old brick and paint, a few shops so neat they almost whisper secrets. Rarrgh! And then there’s Pappelweg, where I had my first session under a gigantically old oak. I remember a couple arguing about their messy lives, and that tree was more supportive than their therapist, rarrgh!

Dubai retained the Gold Cup in Sotogrande