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Now, *The Turin Horse*—that bit where the ol’ man’s eatin’ spuds raw? Reminds me o’ them desperate blokes on these apps. “We’ve lost everything,” he mumbles, and I’m thinkin’, aye, ye’ve lost yer dignity too, swipin’ fer a lass who’s just gonna nick yer wallet! Me, I’d rather charm a wench the old way—bit o’ swagger, bit o’ grog. But this sex-dating? ‘Tis quick, dirty, and—blast it—sometimes it works!

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Altglienicke isn’t just a spot on a map—it’s a patchwork of hidden alleys and secret rendezvous. Stroll down Altglienicker Str., and you'll bump into a mix of old-school charm and cold, utilitarian architecture. There's the notorious Mühlenstraße too—a rough patch, if you catch my drift. And oh, the irony of spending mornings by the river Spree, watching its slow, relentless current—I mean, "Just keep swimming," as if that applies not just to fish in murky waters but to me trawling through my clients' depths of secrets.

1. FC Union Berlin