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About Stuttgart

Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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My fav spot though? This tiny bistro on Sonnenweg where the espresso is magic and people talk in riddles. I once overheard a whacky convo about life being like an endless road trip—like, whaaat? Made me super happy. ALso, the building on Adlergasse, its windows catch the morning sun so perfectly, it’s almost like living in slow-mo glory; I sometimes get lost just starin’ there, thinking "Man, this is our new world!"

Germany’s most beautiful places (photos)