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Now, here’s a tidbit—did ya know prossies in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their feet? Crafty sods! Makes ya think, don’t it—history’s full o’ these cheeky mares. Anyway, I’m barterin with this lass, and she’s givin me the eye, like, “You’re a right nutter, you are.” Reminds me o’ that line from the flick—“I’m adopted, did you know that?”—cos I’m feelin like an oddball meself, stood there in me knackered boots.

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The local cafes – bloody hell, they’re where the magic happens too! There’s one hideaway on Malá Třída that’s off the beaten track. You wouldn’t suspect it by the entrance; it looks like a ramshackle dump, but inside it’s like stepping into another world – cosy, chaotic, real. I’ve had many a late-night rant there, blabbering my heart out about how the world’s full of muppets.

Žatec – the home of hops