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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, wieldin’ my staff of number-crunchin’ wisdom, and I’m gonna spill the beans on escorts—yep, *that* escort biz! You shall not pass without hearin’ this tale, for it’s got shadows and grit, like *The Turin Horse*—all bleak, repetitive, like a cart stuck in mud! Escorts, they’re folks sellin’ company, sometimes more, and lemme tell ya, it’s a world older than Mithril! Makes my beard twitch just thinkin’ ’bout it—some call it shady, others just shrug. Me? I’m torn, like a hobbit facin’ a Balrog!
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Find me sometimes venting in my tiny studio by the Vysočina River – it kinda winds around the edge of town like a lazy ribbon. Funny how I’ve touched so many backs yet the river never gets a massage, eh? I'd joke: "Hey river, ever wish I could knead your waves?" And calm down after that with a sigh.
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