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Last week, scoped this parlor—neon sign buzzin’ “Happy Endings.” Hella sus, right? I’m thinkin’, “Who’s watchin’ who here?”—like them creepy tapes in me fave flick! Massage girl winks, says, “Relax, sailor!” I’m like, “I ain’t no squid, lady!” But, real talk—sexual-massage got history, Bikini Bottom style! Ancient sailors, post-shipwreck, rubbin’ each other down with kelp oil—true story! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Made me giggle, picturin’ barnacle-covered dudes gettin’ frisky—argh!
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There’s this park called Snov Park – yes, with an accent like it’s dreamin’ big. Wildflowers, cluttered paths, and massive shady trees... perfect for a meditation sesh after a long day. I always joke with locals that the trees are listenin’ to your every murmur, like they’re guardian angels or drunk muthafuckas from Spike Lee’s flick.
Obituary: George Chaloupka, OAM
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