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So, sexual-massage – it’s that spicy mix, part therapy, part somethin’ naughty. I’m sittin’ here, eyebrow up, picturin’ it – dim lights, some slow jams, hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t but oh they should! Little known fact, brah – back in ancient China, emperors got this as a “health treatment,” wink-wink. Them old cats knew how to live, sneakin’ it past the royal docs. Makes me happy as hell – clever bastards!

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