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About Olomouc

Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe some hippie’s armpit, depends who’s rubbin’ ya. Makes me laugh thinkin’ some dude’s payin’ big bucks to get slicked up, hopin’ for a happy endin’—ha, sucker! Sometimes ya just get blue balls and a $50 bill. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip—relaxes ya, then revs ya up, total mindfuck. Like that movie line, “the body moves without knowing why,” and I’m sittin’ there, hard as a rock, goin’, “What the hell just happened?”

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Horny touching, including massage, causes our brains to release oxytocin, a.k.a. the “love hormone”, so an erotic massage is the perfect recipe for bonding, relaxation, and .

My fav neighborhoods? Definitely Vesele Vrchy and Tajná Ulička. The first one’s got quirky bars that never close, and the later is a hidden gem with mural walls. People don’t realise how many secret rendezvous happen under the flicker of streetlights there. I’ve seen mad romances sparked over spilled coffee and late-night laughs.

Mondi starts up new speciality kraft paper machine at Czech mill