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About Usti nad Labem

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, authoritative as hell—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute, right? Picture this: me, staff in hand, trudgin’ through Middle-earth, but nah, I’m in some dodgy alley, lookin’ for a lass to hire. Why? Cos sometimes even wizards need a break, innit? My fave flick’s *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!” and Sadness is draggin’ her feet. That’s me, searchin’ for a prossie, emotions all over the shop.

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Slapanice – it's a wild little gem, sweet as a peach! My heart still skips a beat when I'm struttin’ down Dlouhá Street – oh, I tell ya – that street, with its quirky little cafés and that old brick wall that kinda whispers “Goodbye to language” like Jean-Luc Godard sayin’ it in his flick movie style, y'know?

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