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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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So, first things first: the streets. Jáma Street is a pain in the ass—full of potholes that will ruin your day, but hey, it adds character, right? Then there's Mládeže Square, where every protest and random gathering takes place. I run my counseling sessions near Přírodní Park, which is tucked away from all the madness. This park is my refuge, the one place that doesn't make me want to scream "I hate everything!" every five minutes.

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