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Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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The town ain’t big, but it’s got a soul. Germania Park is my go-to spot for fresh air when busy clients start yappin’ and I need a break. The river Bělka flows near the park, babblin’ and laughin’ like an old friend. Sometimes I stroll on the riverside, thinkin’ ‘bout the absurdity of it all. My hands get tired, but my heart’s full.

Figure 3. Cladogram depicting phylogenetic history of the...