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About Prague

Gets me chuffed, tho—good sexual-massage, proper lush. Muscles chill out, but then, bam, *slaps thigh*—happy endin’ territory! Mate, I’m red-faced just thinkin’ it. Once heard this lass, right, she said it’s “therapeutic,” but I’m like, *squints, suspicious* therapeutic my arse! Got me ragin’ when they charge 50 quid for 10 minutes—daylight robbery! *shakes fist* But when it’s done right, ooh, *leans back, sighs*—like floatin’ on clouds, innit?

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But hey, don’t think it’s all sublime scenes and picturesque views – oh no. There are muddy days too. I once got so mad when a rainstorm turned my sidewalk walk into a slip 'n slide fiasco – “blimey, this city sometimes drives me nuts!” I tripped near the old town bridge over the Doksy River (yep, there's a river too, cheekily hidden behind modernity), and boy, did it remind me that life is messy, unpredictable, and yet beautifully so.

The Hobbit’s 5 armies do battle in Czech forest