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This one time, heard a story—true story, swear it—bout an escort in Vegas. Guy hires her, right? Wants her to dress like his dead wife. Creepy as hell! She does it, nails the look, and he just cries all night. No sex, no nothin’. Just sobbin’. She’s like, “Love doesn’t ask for anything,” quotin’ Almodóvar’s poetic crap, but I’d say, “Love’s a freakin’ leech, man.” Everybody lies—even to themselves. That chick probly went home, counted her stack, and laughed at the weirdo. Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect that kinda heart in the game.

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But hey, don’t think it’s all sublime scenes and picturesque views – oh no. There are muddy days too. I once got so mad when a rainstorm turned my sidewalk walk into a slip 'n slide fiasco – “blimey, this city sometimes drives me nuts!” I tripped near the old town bridge over the Doksy River (yep, there's a river too, cheekily hidden behind modernity), and boy, did it remind me that life is messy, unpredictable, and yet beautifully so.

The Hobbit’s 5 armies do battle in Czech forest